May 2012
3 tags
Me: Help me, please.
Doctor: Jesus, Richard - why didn't you come back and see me sooner? Here, have this bunch of trippy head tablets, one letter to refer you to the Psychiatric Link Worker, another letter saying you incapable of working and I'll get a nurse to drive you home. Can I call someone for you to make sure you are ok?
Me: Thank you.
2 days later...
Me: Help me, please.
Job Centre: No. Get a job.
Me: I can't work.
Job Centre: Says who?
Me: My Doctor.
Job Centre: Don't care, our in-no-way-medically-trained Assessor says you are capable of working - get a job.
Me: but I have this letter...
Job Centre: doesn't matter. Get a job. Also, we can't give you any money because you've been out of work so long.
Me: I can barely leave the house, I can't deal with people face to face any more, what job can I do?
Job Centre: It's not our job to find you a job.... Get a job.
Me: *sob* can't you people see that I need some kind of help here?
Job Centre: Have a tissue, security will escort you from the building.
Security: Here we go sir, let's not make a fuss.
Me: What just happened.
Security: Stand out here against this wall, sir.
Me: Ow, that hurt.
Security: ...
Me: *sob*
Security: sir, you cannot sit on the floor like that, or I will have to call the police.
Me: ... *sob*
Security: Eric, call the police.
In other news, Mirtazapine can give you wet dreams.
May 21st
5 notes
May 12th
1,070 notes
May 12th
7,569 notes
May 12th
496 notes
1 tag
May 12th
79 notes
May 11th
6 notes
1 tag
May 11th
10 notes
I require novocaine and oral pleasures.
May 11th
6 notes
May 11th
61 notes
May 11th
1,055 notes
May 10th
57 notes
May 10th
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May 9th
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May 9th
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May 9th
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May 9th
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1 tag
May 8th
301 notes
May 8th
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May 8th
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May 8th
644 notes
4 tags
May 8th
10,849 notes
I don’t know where this urge for gnocchi came from at 12:25am, but damn… I want me some pesto gnocchi.
May 8th
6 notes
May 8th
10,759 notes
May 8th
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May 8th
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May 8th
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May 8th
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May 8th
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1 tag
“I finally figured out that I’m solitary by nature, but at the same time I know...”
– Charles de Lint, Memory and Dream (via setyourcompass) This is so true of me (via craftedstories)
May 7th
373 notes
May 7th
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May 7th
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May 7th
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May 7th
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May 7th
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May 7th
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May 7th
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May 7th
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May 7th
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May 7th
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May 7th
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May 7th
75 notes
4 tags
I was going to watch the Last Mimsy (don’t judge, it’s a Bank Holiday) but I’m having trouble taking it seriously because ‘mimsy’ sounds like something your nan would call her vagina.
May 7th
5 notes
May 7th
156 notes
1 tag
time for bed...
thiswouldbethepartwhereIwoulduploadarandomgifbutmylaptopisdeadandIhavenogifssothiswillhavetosuffice.gif
May 6th
3 notes
ladyfangbanger asked: you're not so bad yourself haha
May 6th
1 note
2 tags
May 6th
3,986 notes
“I mean, imagine opening The Sun every day and finding page three adorned with a...”
– Alan Moore, Invisible Girls and Phantom Ladies, 1983 It’s pretty amazing how you could apply this just as readily to the comics industry of today as you could 30 years ago.  (via digitalsocrates)
May 6th
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May 6th
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May 6th
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May 6th
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